He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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