people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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