She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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