Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
