He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
