We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
