you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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