Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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