Non-Jews are for practice
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
