hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
