i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
