Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
