Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
