craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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