I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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