we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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