she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sext me about skeletons
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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