he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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