I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
