id be glad to
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
