I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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