I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
