If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize