She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
