im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
