Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
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Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
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Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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