I want to make a zoo with you.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
