there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize