I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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