I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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