you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
