420 ftw
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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