YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
