I think I just saw someone hide a body.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
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