just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
