I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
