the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
