i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
why do cheetos always look like penises
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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