I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
