I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize