wake up i wanna do it froggy style
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
