Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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