id be glad to
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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