I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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