I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
