That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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