so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
