there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
