if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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