is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
