So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
