I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
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