I cockslap morals
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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