i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
