Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
