god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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