I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize