Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
