nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
