so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize