Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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