When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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