Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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