We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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