A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
