Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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