Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
