Swine flu. Run for my life!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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